The problem with a 'fair fight'

I have learnt that if you have trouble discovering an innate advantage—or if what you find doesn’t seem advantageous enough—you need to create an advantage. 

Not everybody has the advantage of size, good looks, or remarkable demeanors, but rather they have advantages they use to help them be successful. These advantages are often not innate but things a lot of people might have. To be a top performer you need to identify what your advantages are.

Creating an advantage is not always easy...particularly if you have no talent. But never fear it is always possible. 

I think about the people I know, the people I have met and the people I've worked with over the years... most of them unimpressive, untalented, and somehow...eventually in charge.  

And so as I come closer to the end of my degree, I keep in my mind that my time will soon come when I will need to know how to climb the ranks and find my way to the top...and so I question...What does success look like? What are the characteristics of someone who is 'successful'? Is it really all about who you know? Is 'climbing' the ranks really the correct term to use?

And then I remembered a piece of advice that was once given to me...

 You must see business for what it really is: a place where fairness falters, where even the seemingly undeserving win. 

The terms “fair fight” and “level playing field” have little business in the business world. The bottom line in the real business world is that fairness rarely exists.  

A fair fight simply means you are unprepared.

Thing is I could easily lose a fair fight. I was told a fight should be imbalanced in my favor and my opponents minimally skilled and easily defeated.

Let’s be honest, you want a fair fight only if you believe that equality is more important than personal success or if you are bored with how easily you’ve been winning your fights. 

When I first started to hear the advantages of the most successful, it did not seem right that they were successful regardless of talent, skill, or education. But I realised that the people who are willing to overcome everything in their path (aka. a giant lack of talent) because of their desire for their goal were as deserving as anyone else.

Viewing business this way requires a willingness to step away from traditional norms of fairness—to understand that “unfair” fighting does not mean unscrupulous or discreditable. It means thinking critically about some business practice, personality trait, or personal strategy and then methodically employing it to your advantage so you stand out from others and win. 

Some more useless and funny thoughts to ponder...

 

I press harder on a remote control even though I know the reason it's being a pain in the ass is because the batteries are low...

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when the reason in the first place is that there wasn't enough money in the account?

People believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but feel the need to check when you say the paint is wet...

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? 

 If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will appear?

Have you ever run over a string a dozen times with your vacuum cleaner, then reached down, picked it up, examined it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? 

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Truth is...its not alright that hurt, you stupid idiot watch where your going!

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? 

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to as well?

Why is abbreviation such a long word? 

After you've worn your socks once chances are you'll never find them paired up again...

How do you decide which arm rest is yours in a movie theartre?

Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? 

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Why are dogs noses always wet? 

Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?

Single or Lonely?

A discussion frequently tossed up between friends... Do you prefer being single? Do you prefer being in a relationship? What are the pro's and cons? Are you scared to be alone?

I often hear the words single and lonely go hand in hand. 

What idiot started that train of thought? I have friends who were perfectly content alone until they started dating... then things got complicated, they start saying am I over thinking this? Am I not thinking about it enough?  However I also know people perfectly content in a relationship who couldn't picture their lives any differently.

Here are my thoughts.... 

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. 

And whats more, is being in a relationship doesn't cure that loneliness, it merely covers it up and makes you more vulnerable to living a less than extraordinary life. When you are uncomfortable with the person that you are alone with you are always seeking someone outside of you to make you happy. Most will admit it is the easier option, who would have thought liking yourself would be quite a task? 

You should take that time to get to know your self and like your self that way you can be at one, happy and content with life as it is. In a couple-driven consumer marketing society, you’re bound to come across people who wonder why you’re single, as if the ultimate goal in life is to pair up with another human being and cling to that ideal as if your life depends on it. They might even imply that something is “wrong” with you if you’re single. Brace yourself for that kind of ignorance. Remember that you don’t have to defend your being single, just like it’s rude to attack the validity of someone’s relationship.

Being single allows you to stabilize your emotions. When a person is in a relationship, especially when it is just starting, your emotions can go completely out of whack. Your mind can go a mile a minute constantly thinking things like, “Does he/she still like me?”, “Did I say the right thing?”, “What should I do now?”, “When should I call next?” The list goes on and on. It’s enough to make a person go bonkers with all these thoughts running rampant.

The only single people who claim to be lonely are those who choose to be lonely. 

One of the reasons why singleness seems so scary is because of the term itself:  Single. To call yourself lonely when all you lack is one person in your life is irrational. Take a deep breath the world is not over,  you still have friends and you still have family. Take this time and spend it with them. Boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go... friends and family are forever. 

Apparently I should have life figured out

I swear, yesterday I was six years old. Now suddenly I'm 20 and I'm graduating from university in 6 months. Uh...what?  I don't know how this happened.

Preparing to graduate from University is even worse than graduating from high school. When you're a senior in high school, you constantly get bombarded with "So where are you going to Uni?" or "What are you planning to study?" When you're close to graduating at Uni it becomes "So what are you going to do in the real world?" and "Got any jobs lined up?" and maybe even "So what are you doing with your life?" Four years of University means I have an answer to these questions?

My response...A blank yet awkward face that reads.... I don't bloody know!

What's wrong with just living in the now and worrying about the future later? Does that make me irresponsible?

When I attempt to answer the question I end up throwing out random possibilities and try to sell the "So many choices and still so young" line... And I always get the same reaction (This girl has got no clue!).

This really is a strange feeling, I feel like I've been in Uni forever, yet when I look at how close it is to finishing it feels like yesterday I walked into the lecture theater on O-week with 300 plus new students.

I've asked class mates what their plans are when they finish and it disturbs me somewhat that they all seemed to have it planned out. I guess you could say I'm a little jealous. I've always been one to set goals, yet somewhere along the way I lost sight of my career goals.

I feel that University has held me back from doing what I want, Travel, Dance, Volunteer, Visit a 3rd world country - help those less fortunate. These are real life experiences I have put off. I guess my heads so full of dreams that I'm not ready to settle down in the real world with a full time job pumping out story after story as a journalist for the local paper or TV station.

I guess you could say I'm a passive spectator, watching my life unfold one day at a time. I like many others just hope that I come to a sudden realisation one day and get my life on track... but I guess spontaneity has got the better of me at the moment, knowing that their are so many possibilities excites me...why must we always have a plan!

For now I'm just going to step one foot in front of the other. Maybe somewhere along the line an opportunity will present itself...maybe not... maybe I'll work staraight away...maybe I'll travel... who knows. Life shouldnt be taken so seriously, I have the rest of my life to work! It seems to be all we live for... I don't want to look back and say 'I went to school, went to uni, went to work, got married, had kids, end of story."

I want to live a little!

The Art of Attraction

I believe very strongly that when it comes to desire, when it comes to attraction, that things are never black and white, things are very much shades of grey.

Attraction isn't logical and it isn't  a choice. What a person says they want and who they are actually attracted to are two different things. We aren't attracted to someone because it makes sense, it usually never makes sense. Even if every bone in your body tells you it's a bad idea. Even when you're perfectly content alone and not looking for anyone. Some people face the decision between what they think and what they feel, they know logically to pick one person but they're attraction to the other causes them to put all thinking aside.

I guess sometimes it's best to just go with it, the way in which we are attracted to people may change according lessons we learn in time.

Road Rage

So I've spent the morning typing up an assignment, I'm cranky because non residents are parked in our apartment spaces meaning I have to go downstairs and move my car every two hours because they're too selfish to pay for parking. The assignment is taking to long to upload to the internet, I'm running late for my presentation, I've kicked my toe on my desk about four times rushing in and out of the room... Not exactly the ideal way to start a day. I rush out the door and to my relief everyone on the road seems to be in as big a rush as I am. 

Just as I've calmed down and started to belt out some tunes from the stereo, a car cuts me off without an indicator causing me to swerve and swear uncontrollably. Like Carl Barron says, they can never hear you....they just see the ridiculous expressions on your face! 

I've come to notice ALOT of BAD drivers lately, my patience is beginning to ware thin, how much must I put up with before someones bad driving gets me or someone else hurt. Seeing as there is nothing I can do about it I feel a good bitch is the only way to vent a little frustration. 

SPEEDING

Everyone does it, including me, there’s no secret of that.  However, it simply amazes me how people will risk life and limb, weaving in and out of traffic, just to get a few cars ahead and shave a whopping 3 to 5 seconds of their drive time.

TAIL GATING

This one really drives me absolutely mad,  luckily, I can fight back.  Whenever I notice someone a little too far up my ass, I give the break a good shot once in a while, and watch them jump.   There really is no excuse for tailgating, its like walking in a line, standing on top of a person pushing your pelvis into their ass won't get you anywhere faster! They say 2-3 seconds between you and the car in front of you,  However…the 2-3 second rule also causes an additional problem that leads into my next annoyance…

CUTTING OFF DRIVERS

Unfortunately, while you may think you’re maintaining a safe driving distance from the car in front you, people in other lanes take that as a sign for them to jump into your safe buffer zone.  People seem to think that if you’re not bumper-to-bumper with the car in front of you, then they have free reign on taking that space for themselves. 

GIVE WAY TO ONE

You're stuck in a car park and there are cars coming from all directions trying to get out the same way you are. I like to work via the general rule of thumb of someone let you in so you let someone else in. If everyone followed this rule, things would be so much more simple. But no... there are the selfish pricks who won't give way to anyone, they're too concerned about themselves and how fast they're going to get out to worry about others. 

NO INDICATORS

I'm not a F%#$ing mind reader! 

Well I don't know about you but I sparingly like to flip the bird, remind them they're in the wrong and let out a little frustration of my own... Dear bad Townsville drivers...

Take that!

The man who crossed his legs

There he sat, his neck disguised by his over sized shoulders, a tank singlet, gym shorts, eating a burger. His hands were so large he could have held two burgers in each hand. Yet something had caught my eye, it didn't seem quite right. Masculine, Arrogant... and legs crossed? You heard me, one leg over the other. I just about fell on the ground laughing!

And so I came to ponder, was I right to criticise this man, I mean I was somewhat stereotyping him according to his appearance. For all I know behind all those muscles, steroids and protein shakes is a raging homosexual, the only thing missing was his little pinky fingers raised in the air while he was eating. Crudely sexist of me I know, I'm not sure where this ideal came from. We've all seen the old foot on the knee abused by business men in suits, it doesn't usually go the whole way.  So the question is, should a man cross his legs when seated?

Awkward Hugs

Awkward hugs, we've all received them and we've all given them.  I quite enjoy going out of my way to give one of those creep-o hugs that says yes, that WAS awkward for you! Then watch them slide out of it, shake it off, and pretend everything just carried out like normal. I'm not sure what it is, but I guess there is something humorous about giving them a hug they regret coming in for.

Now its a little more complicated than the simple delivery of an awkward hug, and so I have categorised each type of hug with a small explanation. I can guarantee you've experienced most if not all of these hugs.

The Lower Back Hug-

You wrap your arms around someone’s mid-back area (where normally you would bring this in high, on the shoulder region.) then slide your arms down their lower back as if you are cradling their backside.   This is a promising start to nailing that awkward moment. Going lower in the hug can be devastating in male-on-male hugging, I strongly suggest you save it for you're close friends. 

The Fiddle Hug -

This is a classic hug that will never tire me. Right when I go in for the kill and land a perfectly normal hug I switch it up big time. I get all twitchy and change shoulders midstream and adjust myself till I get the clean awkward moment. This is a gender neutral hug and not meant to dominate or make anyone cry. It’s just uncomfortable and awkward.

Inappropriate Bear Hug – 

You have to know when the right time is to issue this hug. Where most people expect the polite 'its good to see you hug' you surprise them with the close tight grip, hold on for an innapropriate length of time accompanied by silence and a big deep breath as though you are enjoying the moment. All the while you'll know they'll be wondering what the hell is going on. Bear hugs can be a great time and can get mega awkward in a fast way. 

Almost penetration Hug -

This is the sort of hug you should deliver with caution. If you're not already known as a creep then this may be difficult to pull off without being classified as sexual harrassment. Female on female it's known as clamming, male on male its known as a fist fight..... so here's the deal. Its when you stand ridiculously close like toe to toe, head to head, and quite literally press your junk together. Pretty damn close to penetration if you ask me, and so god damn awkward!

The half in / half out hug -

This is another favorite of mine where I never fully commit but the other person is completely expecting me to. I come in just like it’s a full hug but at the last minute half of my body forgets to commit, or so it seems. They are forced to drop one of their arms and give me what only amounts to a handshake. You both know it was awkward but no one says anything...you just spend the rest of the day thinking about how weird that moment was. 

The Sweaty hug - 

While there are as many Awkward Hugs as there are awkward occasions, I think the Sweaty Hug is unique to a fitness environment. If you've ever crossed a finish line, scored a goal/ try, accomplished something physically demanding... It's the Awkward Hug where at least one party but possibly both are sweaty from head to toe and yet find themselves in an occasion that warrants hugging. Usually its more awkward when one person isn't sweating, they take notice of the sweat more. 

So these are the top six hugs... next time you give or receive one of these you'll just laugh!

Funny Thoughts On Life

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you’re wrong. But I being so stubborn... continue to argue anyway. 
3. I take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
5. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? I dont remember reading it in a manual or googling it...We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
6. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
7. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea what the F*&% was going on when I first saw it.
8. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
9. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
10. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
11. Was learning long division really necessary?
12. LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
13. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 
14. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
15. When I have to spell a word over the phone I end up using very strange or innapropriate words to describe what the letter is...Yes that's an A for Alien... mmmhmmm B for Breast.... at least they're realistic what the hell is alpha and bravo?
16. While driving the other day I saw a banana peel on the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
17. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
18. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
19. Bad decisions make good stories.
20. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
21. Why is it that when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem.
22. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
23. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
24. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Microsoft Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page uni assignment that I swear I did not make any changes to.
25. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
26. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. Where did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
27. I hate making the house immaculate and not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
28. When I meet a new person, I’m worried I might mention something they haven’t  told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking or in my better words "intense research"
29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
30. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 
31. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
32. That moment you realise what sounded funny in your head didn't sound so funny out loud. 

 I shall add some more when I have a little more time to think about it.

Just a leaf on a tree

As we move through life we cross paths with many confusing emotions. We ask questions that have no answers, left helpless, sometimes blaming ourselves and other times blaming the circumstances. Finding answers and solutions can be much like entering a maze, usually resulting in more confusion and frustration than before. 

In a realm of restlessness we need to take time to sit still, look around and observe, stop over thinking. We are in many ways like leaves on a tree, one of many. One day a strong blow pulls us from the tree, moving us helplessly in the direction of the wind, for the first time feeling alone, unknowing of where we are or where we're headed. A leaf moves in definite proportion with the wind, without seeking for a clarification it simply moves along. 

This is life.

Sometimes we don't need to have an answer. Instead move on, don't stop and ask for directions. Life will take us where it wants to, it won't ask for permission. How we deal with it is completely up to us.

Some problems just don't have solutions, in fact some problems are not even problems. Rather, they are facts not to be solved. We just need to adjust with them as the time passes by.

Just as a leaf reaches its destination, we too will reach somewhere while moving along with the flow of life. 

Just let it be......

No Regrets... Just Lessons Learned

The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have."

We all have something stored in our memory banks of the past that we wish we could have done differently, or something we wish we didn’t do.

As we get older we learn and grow. But that doesn’t mean we have to regret what we did before we learned how to do things differently. 

If we didn’t go through those experiences we might not have grown into the strong and knowledgeable people we are today.

If we live life regretting we will never be happy.

We forget, it's OK to make mistakes. We fall down and get back up. If we never make mistakes we'll never know right from wrong. 

So you screwed up, so what? It’s not the end of the world is it? The Earth will still be in orbit, the sun will still set and rise and you will still wake up every morning with another day to live.  

Find humour in life, stop looking at the world so seriously.

Relax and go with the flow, live life unafraid of change. 

Embrace what you already have instead of thinking about what you don't have. 

Be Bold. Find the courage to change things that should be changed and accept that there are some things that cannot be changed.

Life is too short to be anything but happy!

Relationships.... the latest trend?

Maybe its that I never stopped to notice or because I have jumped on the newly single band wagon, but I cant help but notice the number of couples in this little city of Townsville. With valentines day just around the corner I had an idea that my girlfriends and I would spend a night in celebration of being 'without male' and happy... but to our dismay the party would be quite a small one, it turns out there aren't many single fish in the pond any more. 


I believe sometimes people drift in and out of relationships because they feel the need to "belong" to another, or a need to "be" with someone. Oftentimes, when we choose relationships based on fear of being alone, or because we feel we "need" to be with another, we bounce back and forth between relationships, never realizing what we actually want. Its almost a pressure that we should be on the search for that special someone, especially when you find yourself sitting on your own at a dinner party with all your coupled friends.
 
Sometimes its better to take a moment or maybe to actually spend time alone, figuring out what "our" needs are before we jump into relationships with overblown expectations or another person. Until we feel at ease with ourselves, we cannot feel comfortable with another person.....Not everyone was meant for marriage, and not everyone was meant for a relationship.

chronicles of the hangover

A hangover is never fun, I had a not so friendly reminder of the feeling today...that feeling of why did I have that last round of shots or that last drink or the ever so hangover promising of mixing alcohols.  "Heck why not mix vodka and rumba?" "I feel sick but if I'm not paying for the drink I can't say no!" "Water is for weaklings."

Didn't feel so wise today did I!

No-one sets out on a night with friends to be sick the next day. It happens sometimes and the times that it hits so bad that you go from couch to bed, to bathroom and back to bed frequently in one day brings on that self promise of “I will never do this again” which we all know is a lie but it somehow makes us feel better that moment.

I on the other hand slept til after lunch, attempted some food, moaned on the couch in self pity, made no sudden movements for fear of a projectile vomit, tried curing the hangover with a swim and salt and vinegar chips....failed miserably, threw up in the garden and crawled back to bed! bringing us to dinner time...What a way to spend your Sunday right? When the texts rolled in suggesting 'Sunday sesh'  the thought alone of alcohol made me nauseated. NO THANKYOU

We know at some point we will do it all over again, not intentionally, but it will happen as we are living the moment and enjoying the ride.I sure as hell know the last thing on my mind when I'm ordering that last drink is...it will be coming out tomorrow the same way it went in!

I know for a fact I have one more day of recovery before Cheap Tuesday slash Australia day celebrations begining casual beverages around about lunch-o-clock.

So dear friends, if you plan on killing your liver you might aswell do it with company, come and join us at the palace :-)

The beauties and the Uglies of the horrid stick-on Bra!

Such a clever invention, something every girl has tucked away in her underwear stash...

At some point we come to face the question, bra or no bra?

For some a stick on bra is a means of keeping them perky... no body likes to hang a little south!

For others not so blessed with "breasts" stick on bras are a mean of 'faking it til you make it.'

There has been other little goodies for dresses or tops intended for no bra, hollywood tape and of course the nipple shapers. I personally find the idea of nude stickers on your nipples rather strange, I mean imagine getting your kit off right before you get down and dirty, forget the old one handed bra unclipping trick, just rip them bad boys off and your set to go... hahaha.

I for the first time in months required the help of my trusty stick on's today, and for the first time in months I remembered why I had been avoiding them. The moment I get hot or sweaty I become extremely paranoid that at any minute they will slip right off in which case there can be a few scenarios, they fall down my chest and I end up with the four boob look.. I lose one side and i have 3 boobs... or they fall out completely and I'm left explaining why a clear pair of chicken fillets fell out of my dress and onto the floor to my work mates or a customer. Issue number 2.. They are a B*&^% to pull off, at one point I actually had to check my nipples were still attatched to my body!

Despite my annoyance I know I will turn to them again some day soon, beauty is pain after all!

Expect the Unexpected

If you expect the unexpected then you will never be suprised...

We have it in our heads that in order to find something, we must look for it. Of course if your in a rush for work and you can't find your car keys your not exactly going to wait for them to just 'show up'...But obviously thats not what I'm referring to, I'm talking in the sense of opportunity.

Opportunities come and go, only we can decide alone when to take them, the first challenge is recognition. Once we have recognized it, their comes a choice. We often let great opportunities slip through our fingers because we are not ready for them, or simply out of fear of change. Taking a chance may alter your life's path and not knowing where you'll end up, for some, is a rather daunting thought. 

I believe I have reached a crossroad in my life. An opportunity has presented itself, I could have very well ignored it because it came up when I wasn't looking for it. Good or bad I am still yet to decide. In order to find that out however, I'm going to have to take a risk... which brings me back to my first statement, when you don't know what to expect, expect the unexpected. 

I'm optimistic about change, change is a little something I have not yet grown tired of, in fact I'm quite excited by it. Am I ready for it? I would like to think so. What will be the outcome? No one knows, only way to find out is walk the new path set out for me.