Funny Thoughts On Life

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you’re wrong. But I being so stubborn... continue to argue anyway. 
3. I take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
5. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? I dont remember reading it in a manual or googling it...We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
6. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
7. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea what the F*&% was going on when I first saw it.
8. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
9. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
10. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
11. Was learning long division really necessary?
12. LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
13. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 
14. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
15. When I have to spell a word over the phone I end up using very strange or innapropriate words to describe what the letter is...Yes that's an A for Alien... mmmhmmm B for Breast.... at least they're realistic what the hell is alpha and bravo?
16. While driving the other day I saw a banana peel on the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
17. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
18. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
19. Bad decisions make good stories.
20. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
21. Why is it that when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem.
22. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
23. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
24. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Microsoft Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page uni assignment that I swear I did not make any changes to.
25. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
26. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. Where did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
27. I hate making the house immaculate and not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
28. When I meet a new person, I’m worried I might mention something they haven’t  told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking or in my better words "intense research"
29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
30. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 
31. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
32. That moment you realise what sounded funny in your head didn't sound so funny out loud. 

 I shall add some more when I have a little more time to think about it.