Awkward Hugs

Awkward hugs, we've all received them and we've all given them.  I quite enjoy going out of my way to give one of those creep-o hugs that says yes, that WAS awkward for you! Then watch them slide out of it, shake it off, and pretend everything just carried out like normal. I'm not sure what it is, but I guess there is something humorous about giving them a hug they regret coming in for.

Now its a little more complicated than the simple delivery of an awkward hug, and so I have categorised each type of hug with a small explanation. I can guarantee you've experienced most if not all of these hugs.

The Lower Back Hug-

You wrap your arms around someone’s mid-back area (where normally you would bring this in high, on the shoulder region.) then slide your arms down their lower back as if you are cradling their backside.   This is a promising start to nailing that awkward moment. Going lower in the hug can be devastating in male-on-male hugging, I strongly suggest you save it for you're close friends. 

The Fiddle Hug -

This is a classic hug that will never tire me. Right when I go in for the kill and land a perfectly normal hug I switch it up big time. I get all twitchy and change shoulders midstream and adjust myself till I get the clean awkward moment. This is a gender neutral hug and not meant to dominate or make anyone cry. It’s just uncomfortable and awkward.

Inappropriate Bear Hug – 

You have to know when the right time is to issue this hug. Where most people expect the polite 'its good to see you hug' you surprise them with the close tight grip, hold on for an innapropriate length of time accompanied by silence and a big deep breath as though you are enjoying the moment. All the while you'll know they'll be wondering what the hell is going on. Bear hugs can be a great time and can get mega awkward in a fast way. 

Almost penetration Hug -

This is the sort of hug you should deliver with caution. If you're not already known as a creep then this may be difficult to pull off without being classified as sexual harrassment. Female on female it's known as clamming, male on male its known as a fist fight..... so here's the deal. Its when you stand ridiculously close like toe to toe, head to head, and quite literally press your junk together. Pretty damn close to penetration if you ask me, and so god damn awkward!

The half in / half out hug -

This is another favorite of mine where I never fully commit but the other person is completely expecting me to. I come in just like it’s a full hug but at the last minute half of my body forgets to commit, or so it seems. They are forced to drop one of their arms and give me what only amounts to a handshake. You both know it was awkward but no one says anything...you just spend the rest of the day thinking about how weird that moment was. 

The Sweaty hug - 

While there are as many Awkward Hugs as there are awkward occasions, I think the Sweaty Hug is unique to a fitness environment. If you've ever crossed a finish line, scored a goal/ try, accomplished something physically demanding... It's the Awkward Hug where at least one party but possibly both are sweaty from head to toe and yet find themselves in an occasion that warrants hugging. Usually its more awkward when one person isn't sweating, they take notice of the sweat more. 

So these are the top six hugs... next time you give or receive one of these you'll just laugh!