Awkward Hugs

Awkward hugs, we've all received them and we've all given them.  I quite enjoy going out of my way to give one of those creep-o hugs that says yes, that WAS awkward for you! Then watch them slide out of it, shake it off, and pretend everything just carried out like normal. I'm not sure what it is, but I guess there is something humorous about giving them a hug they regret coming in for.

Now its a little more complicated than the simple delivery of an awkward hug, and so I have categorised each type of hug with a small explanation. I can guarantee you've experienced most if not all of these hugs.

The Lower Back Hug-

You wrap your arms around someone’s mid-back area (where normally you would bring this in high, on the shoulder region.) then slide your arms down their lower back as if you are cradling their backside.   This is a promising start to nailing that awkward moment. Going lower in the hug can be devastating in male-on-male hugging, I strongly suggest you save it for you're close friends. 

The Fiddle Hug -

This is a classic hug that will never tire me. Right when I go in for the kill and land a perfectly normal hug I switch it up big time. I get all twitchy and change shoulders midstream and adjust myself till I get the clean awkward moment. This is a gender neutral hug and not meant to dominate or make anyone cry. It’s just uncomfortable and awkward.

Inappropriate Bear Hug – 

You have to know when the right time is to issue this hug. Where most people expect the polite 'its good to see you hug' you surprise them with the close tight grip, hold on for an innapropriate length of time accompanied by silence and a big deep breath as though you are enjoying the moment. All the while you'll know they'll be wondering what the hell is going on. Bear hugs can be a great time and can get mega awkward in a fast way. 

Almost penetration Hug -

This is the sort of hug you should deliver with caution. If you're not already known as a creep then this may be difficult to pull off without being classified as sexual harrassment. Female on female it's known as clamming, male on male its known as a fist fight..... so here's the deal. Its when you stand ridiculously close like toe to toe, head to head, and quite literally press your junk together. Pretty damn close to penetration if you ask me, and so god damn awkward!

The half in / half out hug -

This is another favorite of mine where I never fully commit but the other person is completely expecting me to. I come in just like it’s a full hug but at the last minute half of my body forgets to commit, or so it seems. They are forced to drop one of their arms and give me what only amounts to a handshake. You both know it was awkward but no one says anything...you just spend the rest of the day thinking about how weird that moment was. 

The Sweaty hug - 

While there are as many Awkward Hugs as there are awkward occasions, I think the Sweaty Hug is unique to a fitness environment. If you've ever crossed a finish line, scored a goal/ try, accomplished something physically demanding... It's the Awkward Hug where at least one party but possibly both are sweaty from head to toe and yet find themselves in an occasion that warrants hugging. Usually its more awkward when one person isn't sweating, they take notice of the sweat more. 

So these are the top six hugs... next time you give or receive one of these you'll just laugh!

Funny Thoughts On Life

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you’re wrong. But I being so stubborn... continue to argue anyway. 
3. I take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
5. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? I dont remember reading it in a manual or googling it...We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
6. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
7. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea what the F*&% was going on when I first saw it.
8. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
9. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
10. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
11. Was learning long division really necessary?
12. LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
13. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 
14. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
15. When I have to spell a word over the phone I end up using very strange or innapropriate words to describe what the letter is...Yes that's an A for Alien... mmmhmmm B for Breast.... at least they're realistic what the hell is alpha and bravo?
16. While driving the other day I saw a banana peel on the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
17. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
18. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
19. Bad decisions make good stories.
20. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
21. Why is it that when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem.
22. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
23. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
24. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Microsoft Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page uni assignment that I swear I did not make any changes to.
25. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
26. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. Where did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
27. I hate making the house immaculate and not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
28. When I meet a new person, I’m worried I might mention something they haven’t  told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking or in my better words "intense research"
29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
30. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 
31. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
32. That moment you realise what sounded funny in your head didn't sound so funny out loud. 

 I shall add some more when I have a little more time to think about it.

Just a leaf on a tree

As we move through life we cross paths with many confusing emotions. We ask questions that have no answers, left helpless, sometimes blaming ourselves and other times blaming the circumstances. Finding answers and solutions can be much like entering a maze, usually resulting in more confusion and frustration than before. 

In a realm of restlessness we need to take time to sit still, look around and observe, stop over thinking. We are in many ways like leaves on a tree, one of many. One day a strong blow pulls us from the tree, moving us helplessly in the direction of the wind, for the first time feeling alone, unknowing of where we are or where we're headed. A leaf moves in definite proportion with the wind, without seeking for a clarification it simply moves along. 

This is life.

Sometimes we don't need to have an answer. Instead move on, don't stop and ask for directions. Life will take us where it wants to, it won't ask for permission. How we deal with it is completely up to us.

Some problems just don't have solutions, in fact some problems are not even problems. Rather, they are facts not to be solved. We just need to adjust with them as the time passes by.

Just as a leaf reaches its destination, we too will reach somewhere while moving along with the flow of life. 

Just let it be......